Daniel's Letters
by owaranai.natsu
Summary: Daniel finds a way to deal with the loss of Sha're. Along the way, he also finds the strongest hope for the future and greater acceptance, understanding, and peace.
1. Alexander

Spoilers/ Related Episodes: 'Secrets,''Forever in a Day,' and 'Absolute Power.'

Disclaimer:Idon't own stargate or anything related...setting in season 3

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Daniel Jackson walked into his apartment after a stressful week. He had also just came home from Abydos, where he hadbumped into his long lost love, Sha're who was now implanted with Ammonet, andfound out that she was pregnant with Apophis's son, which was intented to be his future host. It was practice most Goa'uld banned becuause the harseis child would possess all knowledge of the Goa'uld. Daniel remembered as he watched Apophis leave with her, helpless to save her, but knew she was the one who save him. It was like that from the beginning; she saved him from a life without love. And now, the baby was being hidden somewhere, while he stood in his apartment, doing nothing. No matter how much he wish he could take him home, it would be a threat to Earth, and he would be in better care of a native. Sitting down at his cluttered desk, he took out a sheet of paper and started writing a letter to his 'unborn' child:

_Dear Alexander _

_There are so many things I want to say to you, but I can't really find the words. Kind of ironic since I'm a linguist… I just found out that your mother was pregnant, but since she can't write these letters to you, I will. But know that she will always love you as much and even more than words could ever express. I guess I should start off by saying that I have always wanted you, and by the name I've addressed this to, I've always wanted to name my boy Alexander, the protector of mankind. I don't really know if you are going to be a boy, but I have a feeling. And I can't predict what the future has in store for you, or if you will be one of the protectors of mankind, but you are my child, and I will protect you and love you with all of my heart. _

He finished it with the truth. And wrote it like it should've been, for a mother to write love letters to the unborn child. It was his duty to carry on the legacy of his name; Alexander Jackson, protector of mankind, like his father before him.

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a/n: i hope you liked this, sorry it's so short, review please, thanks! 


	2. Names

It is Saturday night and Daniel is still in his apartment; he doesn't get back to work until Monday. He stares at a shoebox that he has just labeled 'Letters' and opens it. He reads the contents of his first letter to his unborn baby, and decides to write more.

_Dear baby boy, _

_Good evening once again. With this next letter, I feel like you've grown so much already, and yet you may only be a bundle of cells. Never mind my rambling; I tend to do that when I'm excited about something, and lord knows I am over excited to meet you. Since I found out yesterday that you were to arrive in nine months, I went and did some research. I know I've always wanted to call you Alexander, but there were so many other names that would match you perfectly. I was thinking maybe I should name you John, which means God's gift, and you are to us. Then Aidan was another choice, which means 'help.' It's a beautiful name. Of course, you are going to be a beautiful, precious, darling child of mine, because your mother was beautiful, precious, and a darling of mine. Her name was Sha're, and I love her so much, but some bad people took her away from me, and I want you to know who she was. She was from a wonderful place called Abydos, where I met her on my first visit there. It's quite a long story, but I'll try and tell it. I was an anthropologist/archaeologist who gave lectures and theorized that the Egyptian pyramids existed longer than most historians knew. Nobody accepted my theories (and they still haven't) but your godmother, Catherine Langford, took me under her wing, and from then on, we discovered the stargate, which lead me to you. I met your mother after I offered your grandfather some chocolate after a strange camel had just dragged me across a desert; it was an interesting and funny encounter. Sha're didn't speak any English, but we communicated through our actions, and I knew, at first sight, that we were meant to be together. She was shy, but she helped me and my friends find a way home. In the end, I couldn't just leave her there, so I offered to stay. You weren't conceived until a long time afterwards, when the bad people came. And now, I'm back at Earth, striving everyday to get you back. I love you, and I know that Sha're would've been so happy to see you today. Know that we love you now and for always._

Daniel contemplated whether or not to sign his name, but considering he had promised himself he would hand deliver these letters, he didn't. His son would know that he had loved him from the beginning no matter what the circumstances, and actually wrote the letters knowing he would find him soon again.

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a/n: sorry for my short chapters, but these are pretty long letters if you think about the length itwould look like in handwriting. hope you enjoyed it so far. please read and review...thanks!


	3. Godparents

A/n: this takes place right after the episode Forever In A Day, so there will be spoilers from that point before and after. Please review or give any suggestions or comments; they are well appreciated. Enjoy!

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A few months later…Daniel headed to the SGC early in the morning. When in his lab, he sat down and started to organize his lab table. He categorized a few items, before he noticed Sha're's picture on his desk. He picked it up and smoothed a finger of her cheeks. Oh, how he missed her. It had only been a few days after Sha're's funeral and the encounter with Kyra/Linea, and he hadn't been able to sort Sha're's remaining belongings. Daniel kept having reoccurring dreams of her sleeping by his side, and still very much alive. But he knew it was only in his dreams. He would not let the remaining hopes of her memory die in vain; he would do anything and everything to find the boy. In the meantime, he would continue to write letters to his 'unborn' child.

_Dear baby boy,_

_You are growing stronger everyday and I cannot wait until your arrival. Your mother also wishes you to arrive soon; she is quite anxious to see her beautiful child. She is in a better place at the moment, among the gods of your people. I am trying everything in my power to keep the world protected so that you may live a wonderful, normal life. Much has happened since I've written; yet I haven't introduced your godparents or aunts and uncles. There are many. You also have a grandfather, who is a wonderful man, my good father, Kasuf. He wishes more than anything for you to come soon and live on in the family's name. And then, there is Skaara, your first god uncle. He is young and free; he will teach you well the ways of living happily. Then, there are my friends who also help in keeping the world safe. Colonel Jack O'Neill is an honorable man and warrior, and your godfather. Your godmother, although not married to Jack (yet), is Major Samantha Carter who is a brilliant physicist, woman, friend, and great leader. Teal'c is one of my best friends, one more of your god uncles, and is loyal to all things true and worth fighting for; he is fighting for the freedom of his people. He is kind and wise. And finally, there is General George Hammond, the sensible leader of our great family. He has children and grandchildren of his own, and will be a suitable godparent. There are many others included in our family: Doctor Janet Frasier, kind doctor who keeps everyone alive; she goes beyond the line of duty when it comes to saving people, good or bad, and has saved my life countless times. There is Siler and Davis and Harriman, who are all good, reliable men. I'm sure the whole base would love you. You are a most important and loved child among us, and we can't wait until you arrive._

_Until then, your good father,_

_Daniel Jackson._

Daniel gently placed the letter into the box hidden in his desk drawer.

"I will find you; for all that is sacred, true, and in your loving mother's memory, I will do everything in my power to protect you."


	4. Peace

A/n: I haven't posted in awhile, because I have been working on other stories. This will most likely be the last chapter of this little story. I thought I'd keep it short and sweet. Spoilers include 'Forever in a Day,' and 'Maternal Instinct' up to 'Absolute Power.' Enjoy!

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Daniel hadn't written many letters since Sha're's death. He would write some on occasion to ease his sorrows, but the end of each letter would just cause greater pain, with the realization that she was gone, and nothing could even be done to find the child. From the time he started writing the letters, he was searching for his son. But now, he realized, the harseis was better off without him, safer in the arms of a higher being.

_My child,_

_Earlier today, I visited another planet, thought to be Kheb, a supposed paradise where Jaffa and all who served the Goa'uld, would ascend to in death. It was a legendary and mystical place that no one ever dreamed to actually find. Master Bra'tac (another one of your godparents, Teal'c's good friend) came to help us. I had the surprise of my life when I found a temple in the middle of nowhere. I found a place of enlightenment, but more importantly, I found You! I know I'm suppose to write these letters before you were born, but writing to you has probably saved my soul. Your mother, may she rest in peace, would be so happy to see you, and is probably watching over you at this very moment. And there is someone else who is watching over you. Oma Desala, Mother Nature herself. That's who I met in the temple today among the many riddles she told. She taught me that belief is a strong power, and that material power should be cast out. In fact, she saved us by humbling us. She is after all, Mother Nature, and I'm so relieved that you are with her right now; you are in the best care. I would give anything to take you home with me, but I cannot give you the wisdom that Oma will. I held you in my arms, and you smiled at me. I love you more than anything in this world. So I end this letter in the hopes that I'll get to see you again someday. You will grow up to do great things, and it might turn out that you are the protector of mankind, my Alexander._

_Love with all my heart and soul, your good father,_

_Daniel Jackson_

A year passed with more crazy and hectic missions. He had been so absorbed in his work to keep away from depression, that the day his dream finally came true, he didn't see it coming. He had left Kheb, knowing that Alex was in good hands, but didn't know anymore; he just knew he had to trust Mother Nature. Well, after that fateful day when he was reunited with his son, he wrote his last letter, which was the hardest, yet the most freeing words he was ever going to write.

_Dearest Shifu,_

_Thank you from the depths of my heart for saving my soul and humanity. There is so much out there for me to learn and experience and so little time to do so. Yet, here you are, merely a child, and already showing wisdom beyond anything I'll ever achieve. Shifu is mandarin for teacher, and what a name it is for you. In those moments we were together, I had no idea how to act. I had waited so long for that moment, that I had lost sight of my passage in between. You helped me see the truth; the journey is far more important than the destination. And the path to greater understanding takes time and acceptance. This is the last letter I'm writing, because they served to ease the pain in the beginning. But now that I see my purpose, the purpose that Sha're would've wanted, I no longer need this; you have erased my sorrows and replaced it with hope. That is the greatest gift that anyone could ask for. Thank you, from you godparents, my spirit, humanity itself…for everything you've done for us. You are a gift from heaven, my darling angel, my son. "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I've ended up where I needed to be." Douglas Adams_

_Goodbye Shifu,_

_Your good father,_

_Daniel Jackson_

And with the final lettered sealed, Daniel Jackson, was a new man; a proud and amazed father. He placed the letters into the box along with the pen that Sha're first saw him use, as well as the bowl they had eaten on one their wedding night.

The very next day, Daniel arrived in Abydos for a final and personal goodbye to his beloved Sha're. At her grave, he dug a little hole, put the box with the letters in it, and placed a tiny blue flower on top.

"Now, we will always be together, in heart and soul. Together, a family. I brought you a little something to read, you would've been so proud of our son, Shifu. May you rest in peace." And with one final glance, his heart was also in peace at long last.

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A/n: The end! Well, I hope you liked that. Please review, thanks! Have a wonderful day!


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